joke time!

Recently, I was rummaging through some stuffs at the garage and found a book. It was Blanche Knott's Truly Tasteless jokes VII. Since i had nothing to do that afternoon i went ahead and read it. Most of the jokes were indeed tasteless and can be a bit offensive. Let me share some of the jokes i think are passable to write here.

*Warning: some jokes may be offensive and tasteless. Readers discretion needed*

So how do you sneak up on celery?
- stalk

What gets wetter as it dries?
- toilet paper

A woman was sitting next to a stranger in a bar when a disgusting smell came through the air. "Did you shit in your pants?" she asked disgustedly, turning to her neighbor. "sure did," was the repl. "Well be a gentleman and go clean yourself!" she retorted, shocked. "You gotta point, but let me finish first."

"Do you smoke after sex?" asked the horny woman of the Martian visitor.
"I don't know," confessed the Martian after considering the question for a minute. "I never looked."

How did the shrink greet his fellow psychiatrist when they met on the street?
"you're fine- how am i?"

What's the difference between an a*shole and a rectum?
- You can't put your arm around a rectum. (Use accompanying gesture.) hehe.

What does a cow have four of and a woman have two of?
- feet! (what were you thinking).

Hehe. these are some of the jokes i read. some are funny but most are plain tasteless (as in i don't think ill see another daylight if i wrote it in here). tata!